The Wedding Vow “For Better, For Worse?”
“… to be my wife; to have and to hold from this day forward for better, for worse…”
Every one looks forward to the day they’ll be gloriously, officially and legally married to the love of their life (Initially, I used the word significant other but having looked up the meaning, I saw this and I replaced it without a second thought).
For the ladies, we have designed our wedding gown(s); I made it plural because some of us would change about three times. Yes, I said so. We have screenshots of our wedding shoes (six inches heels, lol), who would be in our bridal train and how many ladies we would have in the train, we’ve decided who would be our Chief bridesmaid, many others.
We have even chosen the colors of the day (tomato red, onion purple, tree bark brown, sky blue, whitish pink, grass green, et al). Also, we have thought about where and how long we would spend our honeymoon. The gentlemen don’t even need to think about it too much, as their fiancee has planned everything because it’s her day. His major input in the preparation is the money; plenty money.
The sweetest part of the whole wedding is often the white wedding. The Bride walks down the aisle with her father to meet her Prince charming who is already waiting at the altar. While she walks, the whole congregation are on their feet. Sweet music is playing, everyone is smiling at the Bride; except the ‘bad-belles’ and gossips that are only in attendance to see how it goes down and find faults.
Opening hymn… The Bride and the Groom are thinking, “Can we just finish the order of service and go to our home?”
Finally, it is time to exchange the wedding vows…
The priest comes up and tells the groom to repeat after him… “I … take you … to be my wife; to have and to hold from this day forward for better, for worse…” The Bride says the same thing.
My focus is “for better, for worse”
Before I proceed, I remember watching video of a couple exchange their wedding vows. When it was the Bride’s turn and the priest said, “for better for worse”, she paused for some seconds, smiled and said, “For better, for best.” People in attendance could not curtail their reaction as some of them laughed while others cheered her.
Back to my focus – the exchange of the wedding vows.
For better for worse?
The Bride and the Groom are almost always overwhelmed with excitement that they are not conscious of the things they say (vows). They are not aware is that the vow is a form of covenant; that is, an oath. The Cambridge dictionary defines a vow as a serious promise or decision. Its synonyms include commitment, guarantee, oath, pledge, promise, undertaking et al.
You are not just taking an oath before the priest but also before a host of witnesses both physical and spiritual. In the exchange of wedding vows, the couple say what they will do and want to see. Don’t be surprised when in the marriage; for those that survive the initial wedding stage (an article for another day), they begin to experience fluctuations. When I say fluctuations, they experience surplus and lack, they experience both the good and bad times.
We know the summary of the vow is pledging to be together for life. Since it is your vow and no one will help you to say what you want to see, then say all the lovely things you want to see.
No one enrolls into college with the expectation of failing a course, having an extra year, or even dropping out in the third year. Every one see themselves in their graduation gowns after their final semester even before they graduate.
It’s enough to know that there are days and there are ‘days’. I’m one person who has grown to be conscious of the words I speak. The words we speak are life. There was a practical carried out on two plants; to watch the practical and the results, click here.
What you say soon becomes what you are. The things you see today are as a result of what you permitted, didn’t permit, did or didn’t do yesterday.
You’re getting married because you want to bring out the best in yourself and your partner. You’re saying your wedding vows but you didn’t include how fruitful you will be (although fruitfulness is included in riches. Can one be rich and not be fruitful or can one be fruitful and not be rich? I’d leave this for you to answer).
Having said all of the above, while preparing your wedding vows, you could replace ‘for better, for worse’ with ‘for better, for best’.
No one hopes to be rich and after being rich, looks forward to becoming poor. A rich man strives to be richer. You could replace ‘for richer, for poorer’ with ‘for richer, for richer’ ; ‘in sickness and in health’ with ‘in health and in health’ and the concluding part ’till death do us part’ could be replaced with ’till Jesus comes’.
After all, the priest wouldn’t force the words out of your mouth (smiles).
Even though they could be challenges, remember that you are ‘more than conqueror’.
He wouldn’t allow a challenge that will overwhelm you.
He wouldn’t allow a challenge that would overcome you.