WHEN ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED?
“Babe, when are you getting married?”
“Guy, when are you getting married?”
This is a frequently asked question among youths in this dispensation. Once you attain a certain age, the whole universe start to ask ‘When are you getting married?’ because they expect to hear wedding bells from your father’s house and look forward to seeing your wedding invitation card and pre-wedding pictures.
Most times, young ladies between the age of twenty five years and above are always asked this question while young men are asked this question once they hit thirty years.
The most annoying part of this question is that most of those people that ask you, “When are you getting married?” aren’t married themselves. They ask like they were present at your naming ceremony; like they have a right to know everything happening in your life.
There’s a popular sequence in some cultures for the girl child; go to school then get married and start having children. Your career and further studies is dependent on your husband’s decision. In other cultures, once a lady attains the age of sixteen years, the next thing is to get married while other ladies are betrothed from birth.
The lady’s decision most times doesn’t hold water. Some fathers do not see the need to send their female children to school since according to them, they would end up in their husband’s kitchen. Some mothers in a bid to see their grandchildren have sold their daughters to wrong men and sent them into wrong marriages.
The effect of this question ‘When are you getting married?’ on some ladies by their mothers and the society has caused a lot of havoc. This is also a reason for the high rate of divorce, suicidal and mortality cases.
Most ladies who had to get married to men suggested by their parents or have been pressurized to get married end up leaving their husbands. There are a lot of reasons for this which includes the following:
- Some ladies get married at an early age and at that time haven’t even discovered themselves. Only to discover after being married for years that the marriage they are in isn’t what they want.
- Some ladies as a result of getting married to men without knowing who they really are, get to discover that these men have certain unaccommodating traits and attitudes. Some of these men are boxers and fighters who did not have the opportunity to practice this as an occupation and therefore, have decided to work from home.
It is much more painful to know that even when some of them open up to their mothers about the violence, some mothers utter things like, “In our side, we don’t divorce”; “Endure and continue to pray, everything will be okay”; “Since all these years that I have been married to your father, it hasn’t been rosy, so endure.”
There is a proverb that says that it is the person that wears the shoe that knows where it hurts him or her. As an individual, I do not like the idea of divorce. It is better to be separated and praying to God to change him and reunite you two than to be married, face persistent abuse from your husband and be praying to God to change him. It is someone that is alive that will pray to God for change o.
When are you getting married?
Some women have had to choose to remain in abusive marriages because of their children. It is disheartening to discover that when they die in the process, their husbands re-marry in less than six months and the children, whom they chose to stay in the marriage to protect, get to suffer in the hands of their stepmothers.
Inasmuch as it isn’t easy to deal with pressures from the society and family on the question – when are you getting married? Remember that no one would help you to dwell with your spouse.
If there is any area of your life that you must not miss it; it is in the choice of a life partner. This is because it determines a lot of other events that would take place in your life. Besides, if Miss A’s lifespan on earth is seventy years and she gets married at the age of twenty five years, it is safe to say that she was married for forty five years of her life ceteris paribus. We can conclude that she spent most of her life married than single. I hope you now understand why I said the area of marriage isn’t an area where one would want to make a wrong choice.
Before you say I do, it is very important to discover yourself. This is because it is in self-discovery that you would know who is suitable for you. Wisdom is profitable to direct (Ecclesiastes 10:10) .
Do not allow anyone to pressurize you into making a wrong decision in the choice of whom to marry.
If there is something you should know – people would always talk.
When are you getting married?
When you get married, people will ask you when you will give birth so that they’ll come and eat rice. After you give birth to the first child, they’ll ask you when you will give that child a brother or a sister.
People can never and will never be satisfied. Do what’s good for you and your spouse.
There is more to life than marriage. There are a lot of unmarried women making exploits. Don’t rush into it.
Great piece, the question was nicely answered.
Thanks a lot Pafemoo. I appreciate your feedback
I personally don’t believe in getting pressured into marriage, if we want to, it should be done on your own terms. Thanks for sharing Rayche!
Of course. Agreement between both parties involved. Thanks for reading Ericotrips
I personally believe that we shouldn’t be pressured by society into making decisions about marriage, especially if we’re not interested.
Thanks for sharing Rayche!
You’re very correct Ericotrips.
After all,the society won’t help us to bear the consequences of our decisions.
Thanks for reading.
You’re very welcome!
I really loved the way you connected personally like you were speaking with the individual. Great piece and direct admonishement. But in my opinion humans naturally seek companionship at every point
Thank you Oluwaseun. It’s normal for most humans to seek companionship at every point. This is because most people seek acknowledgement, attention and a lot of other things; but then again, there is time for everything.
You have to ask yourself the reason behind the need for companionship at every point to know whether it is a need or a want.
Like!! Great article post.Really thank you! Really Cool.
Hello there, I’m glad you enjoyed this piece. Thank you for reading and leaving a feedback.
Well written. Looking forward to more from you.
Thank you very much. I appreciate your feedback.