out of wedlock




Did the title catch you off guard?

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“She just gave birth and she is not yet married.”

“Who is even the father of the child sef?”

“Since her stomach started protruding, she has been wearing a ring.”

“She can’t even close her legs.”

Yen yen yen.

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Okay, you had a child out of wedlock, so?

You’re eighteen years and are not married, so?

He denied the pregnancy, so?

Everywhere you go people are talking, “See her, she’s not even married; nobody even knows who the father of the baby is. They said he denied the pregnancy.”

Remember the adulterous woman who was caught in the act and brought before Jesus in John 8:1-11? Sometimes, I wonder why the man wasn’t also brought before Jesus; if she was an adulterous woman, then, there was an adulterous man. After all, it takes two to tango.

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Some of these mothers who are crucifying you for having a child out of wedlock are unaware that their own daughters are unable to give them grandchildren due to the countless number of abortions they have done and the harm they had done to their womb – only time would reveal this.

I have got only one Bible verse for you – Matthew 7 verse 3-5. I love the English Standard Version. It says

“Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 4Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.”

I wouldn’t have had an issue with this verse if we are actually looking out for each other. After all Romans fourteen verse thirteen to sixteen talks about this. You can’t see your eyes except you look in the mirror. It is only someone that looks at you that can tell you to wipe off a piece of dirt. We are each other’s mirror. What happened to loving your neighbor as yourself?

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Back to the focus of this article.

I am proud of you for deciding to give birth to this child. A big kudos to you for deciding not to flush the fetus down the water closet or pit latrine. For not giving the child up at birth or dumping your child in the gutter at birth, thumbs up.

Let those who want to mock you continue to do so. They’ll soon get tired. Let he who has no sin be the first to cast a stone. So you just had a child out of wedlock, it is nobody’s business.

Some died while trying to abort their pregnancy.

Some are married and believing God for the fruit of the womb.

Some carried the pregnancy but they had still birth.

Some died while trying to give birth.

Some are still battling with the ‘When are you getting married?’ question let alone the ‘When will you give birth?’ question.

The list goes on and on.

Your case is different. Your child is fine and you are doing fine. Be grateful.

No man has the right to crucify you for having a child out of wedlock.

Children are gift from God.

out of wedlock

There are children who were tagged ‘bastards’ because their mothers gave birth to them out of wedlock but rose to become global figures.

Don’t beat yourself up for this act.

Remember the adulterous woman who was caught in the act and brought before Jesus in John 8:1-11? She became His disciple.

Lastly, remember that no one is perfect.

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Rather than crucify or castigate single mothers, encourage them and if you can’t do this, keep quiet!


  1. You’ve said it all Rayche! You’re right, children are a gift from God and these days they’re not so easy to come by, at least for some people. I just wish that society would stop castigating people for having kids outside wedlock. If it happens, then allow the concerned individuals take care of themselves. However, I see the amebo could be from how much an unmarried person can properly care for a child especially without income. We need help!

    1. You’re correct Ericotrips. The thing is people are concerned about what others would say about them. Most times people judge others and have not thought out what they would do if they were in the same situation as the person they are castigating. I was pained when I read about a lady who lost her life in the process of trying to have an abortion just two weeks to her wedding.

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